Eating Habits

My boyfriend- gosh that's nice to say- teases me for my weird eating habits, which are from my ED. And I thought it would bother me, but I think, that ultimately,perhaps it will help me. I'm hoping that it will help me get past feeling uncomfortable eating in front of people.

I've started counting again. It

I've started counting again. It makes me feel safer. To count. To know.

Oh gleaming metal shining bright, please just leave me alone tonight.

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Goal: 105

800 calories a day, with one odd day, two for an emergency of an additional 200 calories. Exercise at least 3 times a week. My goal is 105. Once there, we'll see.

I told him. I told him everything. And he still accepts me :)

Today...

I'm an anorexic bisexual bitch & I hate it. I can't stop it. Maybe it's not ana the way some would say, it's ednos, but it's still me. I don't know how "he" could ever still like me when he finds out. I don't even like me. I want to open a vein, just because I miss it. It's been so long since my skin was opened wide. I wouldn't do it. But it sounds nice.

28-4

500 Cals a weekday. 800 cals a weekend. 1000 max for emergency-one only. Anything else must be burned. Exercise 5 days in the week at least. I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm going to anyways.