Update

Well, it's been a good long while since I've updated this. I ended up cutting a couple weeks ago, so that ticker up there, null & void. I moved. I'm in a normal healthy weight range and only freak out about it from time to time, although it seems those times are getting closer and closer in between. I have an incredibly supportive boyfriend and I live with my sister. I enjoy my classes, even if I'm not all there for them. I enjoy work even though I freeze my butt off every time I spend time in there. I have a kitten :) Her name is Jade and she is living with my parents and Bella is pissed because she hates her. Jade and Daisy are the lights of my life, except for Adrian of course :) Anyways that is all for now.

I'm still in a healthy

I'm still in a healthy weight range. But just barely. Half a round above the minimum weight.

My best friend's dad died

My best friend's dad died this weekend. He was my other daddy. I'm spiraling down into darkness. I don't know what to do

Dear L & K, I

Dear L & K, I cut today. I'm currently not sorry about it to myself I will be, but I am to you. Just thought you should kno

Well... the verdict is in

I can't do it. I can't make myself puke. I cannot physically make my body do it. At least not with fingers. I know that's a good thing. At least I can't say I didn't try. I can only say I couldn't succeed. So for anyone of you who care enough to follow this blog, you don't have to worry about me becoming bulimic.

welll...

I tried making myself puke tonight. I couldn't bring myself to do it though. At least I know that I can make myself gag. I will do it though. I know I will. I decided that I would learn this break, and I will do it.

I feel like I just...

I feel like I just... cried myself to sleep last night. Because every fiber of my being wants to be bulimic. But I don't