-sigh-

I don't know what to think and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Not only do I have a crush on one of my very best friends, I started "fantasizing" about one of our mutual friends. I don't know if fantasizing is the right word, but it's all I've got. You know when you're little and you think about your crush and start imagining what it would be like to be with them and to kiss them. That's what I thought about for hours last night. About my best friend. How I just wanted to be with her. How I feel safe and secure with her. It scares me. I talked with another mutual friend about it, and she said she has this effect about her and I'm not the first. But what I couldn't bring myself to talk to her about was how I wanted to kiss her. That is what scares me. I want to kiss my best friend. What do you do about that?

Who I am

I'm an emo possibly bi bitch with an eating disorder

I wish

I wish I didn't have to fight it...

Finally lost half a pound.

Finally lost half a pound. Hopefully It'll continue to keep falling off. Maybe sorta bingeing was a good idea

"you'll love to love &

"you'll love to love & then you'll hate it..."

Day 9

My net calories haven't been over 1000 since day 1 :) going into day 9 now

I lost 1 1/2 pounds

I lost 1 1/2 pounds :) even though i ate lots of cookies & cookie dough...