EEP!!!

Ohmigod. Best thing ever. I FINALLY found A Ring of Endless Light, the movie!! I haven't seen it since, shortly after it came out on Disney channel!!!!!! That is how I fell in love with the book. :) I've almost got it all ready to watch too :) :) :) Totally made my day

Songs

Songs that make me smile:
1.) The Bitch of Living
2.) Totally Fucked
Both from Spring Awakening
I love musicals

Songs

Songs that make me smile:
1.) The Bitch of Living
2.) Totally Fucked
Both from Spring Awakening
I love musicals

Journaling

I've restarted my online diary and I've started another journal. I haven't had one in a while, not since my mom found mine talking about my S.I. I need it though, I need it to recover from S.I. and I want to recover from it. & I finally have the drive, inspiration, and courage to do it. A lot of that I've found through Make it or Break it's Payson Keeler and Kaylie Cruz. I'm a huge fan. But more of that I'm sure will come. Maybe a blog or two filled

Let's see...

So I just updated my online diary and now feel that it's about time I updated my blog. So, let's take a peek into my life the past few weeks.
Well, I've decided that I finally have the passion and courage to give up cutting and burning. Hopefully for real this time. I want it to be real. I started losing a little bit of weight again, I'm still in a healthy range though, so don't panic. I really decided that, I want to live. I don't want to die. & it's going to be a really long and hard road, but I'm prepared to take the steps to living.

For the first time...

For the first time in a long time, I sort of feel like a normal teenage girl :)

One a day

So for the past week it seems that I've been losing a pound a day. I lose one, maintain for another day and lose another. It seems to be going well. I hope I can keep it up or get even better... aka worse. I feel so good to be losing weight and my dad keeps encouraging me to go out & ride my bike, now that it's fixed again. He's a godsend, always fixing my bike. I will go for a ride tomorrow some time. I will lose more weight. I must. Every time I think of food I think, "food, sick & disgusting. Terrible. Bad." My friends and family would kill me if they knew, but I just want to be happy, thin, control something that seems controllable. I have to. I can't cut anymore either, for once in my life, I DON'T WANT TO. For me that's a landslide, it's a miracle. I don't want to cut anymore. I don't want to hurt my friends and family that way. I don't want to hurt the person I love that way anymore.